Excerpt from the book of interviews “Final Conversations” where the Pope Emeritus answered questions about his personal experience of death and the last things:
– Does the Pope Emeritus also feel fear of death? Or at least fear of dying?
In a certain way – yes. First of all, I am afraid of becoming a burden to people if I remain incapacitated for a long time. I would feel that as something very sad. My father always feared that too, but he was spared from it. Secondly, despite all the confidence I have that the dear God will not reject me, as I get closer to His face, I increasingly feel how much I have done wrong. In that sense, the burden of guilt weighs on a person, although, of course, the fundamental trust is always present.
– What is it that weighs on you?
Precisely that I have so often not given enough to people, that I have not behaved correctly towards them. Ah, there are so many details, not major offenses, thank God, but so many things for which we must say could and should have been done better. Where we have not conducted ourselves entirely correctly towards people, towards some situation.
– When you stand before the Almighty, what will you say to Him?
I will pray for Him to be understanding of my wretchedness.
– A believer trusts that “eternal life” is a fulfilled life.
That’s for sure! That then, in the true sense, one is at home.
– What do you expect?
There are layers. First, there’s a more theological layer. A great comfort here, but also a great thought, is what Saint Augustine says. He explains the words of the Psalm “Seek His face always” and says: this “always” refers to all eternity. God is so great that we are never finished. He is always new. There is a constant, endless movement of new discovery and new joy. Such things appear in a theological sense. But at the same time, there is also a very human side that I rejoice in the thought of being with my parents again, with my brothers and sisters, with my friends, and I imagine it will be just as beautiful as it was at our home.
– Eschatology, the doctrine of “last things” – death, purgatory, the beginning of a new world – is one of your fundamental themes. As you yourself said, you have written your most thoroughly developed book on this subject. Can you benefit from your theology today, when you personally stand directly before eschatological questions?
Of course. What I have thought about concerning purgatory, the kind of pain it involves, its meaning, as well as about the bliss whose feature is communion, about immersing into the great ocean of joy and love, is very important to me.
– Do you see yourself as enlightened?
No, no! (Laughs.) No.
– But isn’t enlightenment, aside from holiness, a defined goal of Christian-Catholic life?
The term “enlightened” has something elitist in it. I am a very ordinary Christian person. Of course, it’s about recognizing the truth, which is light. And by the strength of faith, even a simple person can be enlightened. Because they see what others do not notice, although they are very intelligent. In that sense, faith is enlightenment. Baptism was called photismus by the Greeks, enlightenment, coming to the light, gaining sight. My eyes are opening. I see this entirely different dimension that cannot be perceived with mere physical eyes.
